Restoring trust in relationships requires an adjustment in attitude and actions. Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship. But that starts with ramping up the level of trust within the couple.
If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude which allowed you to stray. There may be something at the relationships core that is diseased. But you can heal the disease.
What was it that you were looking for when you strayed? Was the sex humdrum? Was he too busy for you? Was he just not spending enough time on his grooming?
You would not have had an affair if the primary relationship was perfect. So, what needs to be done to fix it? Often that lies in self analysis. But just as often, that lies in the couple’s relationship.
Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems. Sometimes that means going into couples counseling.
But just understanding our thoughts are not enough. The next step is to take concrete action in fixing the problems.
The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things.
One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them. If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it. And, do it consistently. When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.
Your boyfriend or husband is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed. This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once over time. You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course. It is not easy for her to forgive the breach. If you want to stay with him, you will be patient with him.
This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever. In fact, if you allow him to constantly guilt trip you, he will not be satisfied in the new relationship you are building. Just be understanding.
Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident. Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature. Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair.
tags: match dating single, cohabitation dating divorce separation, anxiety, free dating and relationship site, books for dating couples, matchmaker dating service, free dating web sites, spanish dating phrases, bbw dating interracial, lavalife personals, black adult personals, brazil columbian dating marriage woman, quest dating service, free interracial dating, millionaires matchmaking, millionaire matchmaker paul cidney, 1 dating site