Monday, March 9, 2009

Depression and Emotional Abuse

Depression is a very common affliction in today's society, and can have many causes underlying the symptoms. Such issues as unresolved past traumas, grieving over a loss, stressful life challenges or transitions, and/or brain chemistry imbalances can lead to symptoms of depression. These symptoms can include lingering feelings of sadness, hopelessness, feelings of anxiety and dread about the future, a loss of pleasure in previously enjoyed activities, a loss of energy and focus, and changes in appetite and sleep patterns. Frequently, when the underlying issues that prompt these symptoms are considered, the person suffering from depression may be unaware that his or her relationship can have a significant impact on feelings and emotional well being.

For good or ill, the quality and dynamics of your relationship will either encourage, support, and help build you up ? or it will drag you down and lead you further down the path toward depression and low self esteem. If your partner is loving, respectful, and supportive, you are more likely to experience a positive benefit. If your partner instead is critical, controlling, or withholding of love and affection, this wears and tears on your self image and joy. Here are 5 signs of emotional abuse and how it can cause depression symptoms:

1. Your partner is critical of you, publicly or in private. Your partner could choose to call you names, or simply pick you apart for the way you do activities, who you are as a person, and/or may question or criticize your mental health and stability. The overall result is often a feeling of inferiority, a sense of incompetence, and a fear of being crazy. Over time this can lead to lower self worth and feelings of depression.

2. You feel restricted by your partner about who you spend time with on a regular basis. You partner might not want you to see a specific person, or you may hear comments that put guilt and pressure on you for choosing "someone else over me." This can interfere with your relationship with family and friends. Your partner gets the benefit of asserting control over you, as well as keeping you away from positive affirmations that might come from your support network. Criticism of your partner by loved ones is also reduced. Isolation from those you love can make depression feel bigger and more overwhelming.

3. Your partner is critical of your daily activities and expects a daily "report" of what you are doing. When you explain what you did, you might feel defensive and feel compelled to defend and justify yourself. Educational and work opportunities may be another area where your partner makes his or her preferences known ? and your partner is likely to be discouraging of any activity that fosters your independence. Feeling powerless and dependent lowers self esteem and can bring about depression symptoms.

4. Sex becomes a matter of control, instead of a loving expression of your partner's feelings for you. One tactic of control your partner might employ is to demand sex and affection from you, even if you really don't want to do it. Conversely, your partner may purposefully deny you the love and affection you want on a regular basis. In either case, you become a slave to your partner's whim, and the rejection or coercion can make depression symptoms worse.

5. Your partner might threaten you non-physically, implying that you will experience consequences if you don't do what your partner wants. Occasionally, your partner might do something nice for you, but it is typically a tactic to draw you back into the relationship when you are considering leaving it. Once you are safely back into the fold, your partner starts the emotional abuse again, and depression may linger.


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