St. Valentines Day – a day of celebrating that wonderful warm fuzzy feeling, called love. On this day, you’re supposed to buy your special someone flowers; you’re supposed to write cheesy messages into corny greeting cards and send them by couriers dressed up as guerrillas. (I wouldn’t recommend using a real guerrilla – they tend to be too passionate and when I did that, trying to save a couple of bucks my ex left me for the guerrilla, anyways… ) What else are you supposed to do on this day, let’s see – you’re supposed to ‘spice up’ your bedroom escapades with heart-shaped knick-knacks of sorts (where do they come up with some of those, really). You’re supposed to… love!
I have always been “anti” V-day person. I grew up during communism. My family moved to the US from Bulgaria when I was 14. Communism does not condone religious celebrations of any sort, and that includes “the day of love”. So, you guessed it – when I came to the US, suddenly every year about this time I had all sorts of voices, some explicitly and some not so much, reminding me what chocolates to buy my sweetie to show her my love and appreciation, what songs I should play during the monkey-times in the bedroom (darn guerrilla, can’t get him out of my head), etc. etc. I have always been James Dean-like in my attitude towards people telling me what I’m supposed to and not supposed to do, but about love – now that’s overdoing it. And this is why I’ve always been “anti” valentine’s day. I’ve often been appalled by the mass frenzy to act as loving as possible on this day and then go back to being reserved and discrete and “politically correct”.
The purest of human emotions does not have a switch to it. You can’t just put it in “turbo” one day out of the year and dress it in socially acceptable clothes for the rest! And most of all you can’t keep on telling me what sort of chocolates my sweetie likes because may be she’s allergic to chocolates and that would give her hives you rat b_____d, and you certainly can’t tell me what song to play while we’re making passionate love because I want to hear every single gasp and moan of hers knowing that they were of pleasure, caused by me, and not some stupid song. And most of all you can’t tell me to love her super-duper more on this very day, implying that I love her less during all the rest. I certainly hope you’re not even thinking about telling me any of those things, because by golly – I’ll rat you out on her and then she’ll have a jolly ol’ time with her revenge on you, beliiiieve me.
And here’s what I know about love, that took me a while to learn – it doesn’t matter how you’ve decided to express your love to your loved one. What actually matters is whether the way in which you express your love is congruent with what the person you love expect to receive, as ‘a true love expression’. For instance – a great example for this is… my very first “date” in the US. I was either 14 or 15, can’t remember. And of course – we went to the movies. At the register I stepped up, doing what I’d been taught was the cavalier thing to do, be the young little gentleman and all – pay for the lady. No, sir! She wouldn’t have it. Pushed me aside, handed her money to the ticket lady and said “One, please”. Then she looked right at me, and granted me one of those dimpled smiles that had won me over, back then. She was forgiven right away, but my confusion had simply went from “utterly stupefied” to “I should ponder this later”. Ponder it I did and I’m telling you now – what you or I or the seductive chocolate woman on tv tell you about love doesn’t matter.
The single most crucial question you must ask yourself to always lead you to a blissfull relationship is “What does my baby expect to receive, whenever expressions of true love are concerned?” And of course that means that all women are not with the same desires and passions just as all men are not (even though some cheesy cliché phrases some times are right on point). Every individual loves differently and expects different types of love gestures from their sweetheart. Listen to the one you love about love. Do love the one you love the way the one you love expects to be loved. Ooo, love, love, love, love luv --- Happy Valentine’s Day.
No comments:
Post a Comment